The Seventh Wonder of the Galaxy

13editedAlan Greenhead

For Loren and Kian

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Published  by A. Greenhead, 2023.    agreenhead2@gmail.com  www.planetbob.yolasite.com

Copyright  ©  Alan Greenhead, 2010  All rights reserved.  

Originally printed in 2010 by Zenith Print, a division of Zenith Publishing Group Ltd, New Plymouth, New Zealand (ISBN 978-0-473-16316-7).

Published with assistance from PublishMe   www.publishme.co.nz 

A pilgrim on the “Bridge Across the Stars”.

The Seven Wonders of the Galaxy and their locations

1. The Marshmallow Clouds of Gloog – Planet Bob.

2. Giant Space Jellyfish Breeding Grounds – Eagle Nebula.

3. The Ocean of Dreams – Miraculon Asteroid Belt.

4. The Interdimensional Spaceway  (“Bridge Across the Stars”) – galaxy-wide.

5. Library of Lost Time – Plog Solar Gardens, Zigwiddle 7.

6. Fibfib’s Diner and Rest Stop (1 billion planets served) – Shimmer-shine Comet Showers.

7. Dan’s House – Earth.

Mum asked me the other day,

“Why do you always go to Dan’s to play?”

... because Dan’s house is one of a kind!

No one else has a house in which you will find ...

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... a jungle in the living room, where the t.v. was carried off by a mob of monkeys.

... King Arthur in the closet looking for the Holy Grail.

... a disco in the study, where a birthday party for a princess is held every night.

... a pet kiwi who has to wear sunglasses, as kiwis usually only come out at night.

... a cat that once got bitten when it chased its own tail.

... a penguin who hates having cold feet.

... a volcano gushing strawberry sauce.

... a slide that goes to the planet Mars and back.

... a big Bigfoot footprint.

... a dining table made of chocolate in the kitchen. You may eat the cutlery but the

table is for licking only.

... a bubbling pit of lava with a witch’s cauldron for cooking. It is also used as a sauna!

... taps that run with orange juice and hot chocolate sauce.

... an ice cave for a freezer. The ice cubes are chipped straight off an iceberg.

... cupboards that lead to other worlds.

... an ancient stone circle where rock concerts are held.

... a star for a light and an ocean for washing clothes. A ship sank there when

someone  pulled out the plug by mistake.

... 501 secret herbs and spices in the pantry, including pixie dust and moon rocks.

... the world’s smelliest sock.

... a troop of pet baboons. They are more faithful than dogs and better-looking than

cats.

... a Garden of Eternal Youth in the greenhouse where the plants are always fighting

to be fed. It contains the world’s only balloon tree.

... a hole in the sky above that leads to nowhere.

... a man who stayed in the sun too long and is overcooked.

... a dragon in the doghouse. It is just a baby but useful for starting barbeques.

... a lawn mower that is hungry for some grass.

... an underwater kingdom in the birdbath.

... a garden gnome who has no gnome to go to.

... the world’s highest bungy jump.

... the secret final resting place of the “King of Rock’n’Roll”.

... a woman with the slowest house bus in the world.

... a chest in the attic with old treasure maps left by an uncle who was a pirate.

... a magic wizard’s hat.

... a boy who lives in a gumboot.

... the original Mona Lisa (the painting in the Louvre art museum in Paris is a fake).

... a clock on the wall that gives you an extra hour for every day.

... a magic mirror for combing the back of your head.

... a fortune teller who costs a fortune. She always likes to watch the weather   

forecast on t.v.

... a man who is fishing in a goldfish bowl.

... a stairway to the “Bridge Across the Stars”.

... a bog monster living somewhere in the bathroom, where many adventurers have

gone missing amongst the misty swamps.

... a crocodile in the bathtub sitting on top of a submarine. The plughole leads to a

goblin’s  hideout.

... the ghost of William Shakespeare, who is working on a new play.

... an octopus in the toilet.

... a tunnel leading to the centre of the Earth.

... a sink which is really a wishing well. It will grant three and a half wishes if asked

nicely.

... a nice view of Planet Bob.

... a trapdoor that opens onto the roof.

... a glow-worm cave instead of a light.

... a sea battle in the swimming pool. Captain Greybeard seems to be winning

but he had better watch out for the sharks!

... a ship that is sailing the seven teas.

... an astronaut playing golf who has a long way to hit the ball.

... a spaceship from the planet Bob that ran out of petrol and crashed onto the

driveway.  It was visiting the Seven Wonders of the Galaxy. One of them is Dan’s

house.

... a kiwi who really can fly.

... a jet plane hive.

... a wee teepee.

... one of the Queen’s guards who has become a little lost.

... a castle perched on a marshmallow cloud.

... a vampire in the basement during the day, sleeping in a big box of apples. He 

always takes his false fangs out at night and puts them in a cup of blood.

... a three-headed dog who does not like to share his food.

... a flock of birds roosting in a calendar picture on the wall.

... a mysterious prisoner who has been hanging around too long.

... a moa that is quite friendly and useful for keeping the lawns neat.

... a woman who had too much magic potion for making you young.

... a thing under the stairs which stares with its three eyes.

... a girl who likes to go fishing for birds (but always throws them back).

... an underground river that circles the planet.

... a rocket ship in the garage for holidays to the moon. A security camera keeps an

eye out for burglars.

... a motorbike that can do Mach 3. Dan’s mum loves motorcycles.

... a giant marshmallow for a trampoline.

... a treehouse that takes two days to climb to.

... a mad scientist’s laboratory in the garden shed.

... a tree of knowledge in the orchard. It only grows maths mandarins but is good for

finishing homework.

... a moat where the Loch Ness Monster is hiding out.

... a hermit living in a cave. He is the last surviving Neanderthal.

... a desert oasis for a sandpit. The Danosaurus skeleton was named after Dan!

... a mermaid in the fish pond who can’t swim.

... a giant space jellyfish that has drifted in from the other side of the galaxy.

... a dark, spooky forest in a bedroom. It is quite safe because all the wolves are

vegetarians.

... a waterfall made of lemonade.

... a fish that is learning to swim in the air.

... an entrance to the underwater world of Atlantis under the bed. A giant octopus

has come up for a visit.

... a teddy bear who goes off to hunt for food in the middle of the night.

... a fairy choir that sings lullabies. They wake Dan up in the morning with some loud

rock and roll.

... a poor fellow who is always under a dark cloud.

... one of Santa’s reindeer staying for his not-Christmas holidays.

... a piece of the moon that shines all night.

So now you see and now you know,

so why will you not let me go?

Why can’t I go to Dan’s to play?

It’s not as dangerous as you say.

His Dad’s a wizard. So is Dan.

What’s that? I’m permanently banned?!

All right! I’ll stay here in my room...

but can I get a pet baboon?

How many things did you find?

Write down your own wonders from Dan’s House:

1.  A rubbish bin that puts itself out. 

2.  A man who looks the same upside down. 

3.           

4.     

5.           

6.   

7.           

8.   

9.           

10. 

How well do you know the Seven Wonders of the Galaxy?

Questions   Answers below

1. There is only one thing that smells worse than “the smelliest sock in the world”. What is it?

2. What is the Library of Lost Time most famous for?

3. Who flies for Ham-erican Airlines?

4. How do you say “hello” on Planet Bob?

5. What are used to make the ice-cubes for drinks at Fibfib’s Diner and Rest Stop?

6. What sort of people use the wishing well in Dan’s bathroom?

7. What colour are little green men from Planet Bob?

8. How often does the Great Giant Space Jellyfish Spawning occur?

9. Who owns the old mine at Dan’s house?

10. What is the most important factor in the formation of the Marshmallow Clouds of Gloog?

Answers

1.  The sock from the other foot.

2.  Its very high overdue fines.

3. Francis the flying pig.

4. Greeble Bartgrob.

5. Comets.

6.  Well-wishers.

7.  Well, duh...

8. Once every thousand years.

9. It is mine!

10. Atmospheric sugar levels.