Don't forget your loving Mum
Who cleaned your shoes and wiped your bum.
She showered you with loving care,
She made your bed and brushed your hair,
And yet she gets no thanks, instead
She gets, "No, I'm not going to bed!"
“No, I'm watching 'After School’.
Let Johnny put the bin out, fool!"
A mother never stops to think,
She spends her life hands in the sink,
Her face bent over a spitting pan
Or running round for her old man...
But then recall those times, way back,
When on our bottoms she went SMACK!
And when you said, "I don't like meat!"
Under the table she kicked your feet!
She yelled and screamed, she spat and cursed,
And shouted till your eardrums burst.
She threatened you with thumps and whacks,
Made bottoms rosy with her smacks.
Oh! Shame on mothers, every one.
How dare they spoil our play and fun!
What you should do next mother's day
Is make a breakfast on a tray
And take it to Mum in her bed.
But don't take nice things; no, instead
You fill the tray with greens and beans,
With sloppy stew and rodent's spleens
And all the things she makes you eat,
Then tell her that you've made a treat
And force it down her every gollop
And finish it off with a damn good wallop!
(Dedicated to my Mum)